Respect Equality

2 in 5 young adults surveyed say marriage an outdated tradition

Around 85 percent of respondents reported that they don’t feel marriage is needed to “have a fulfilling and committed relationship.”  
(Getty Images)

Story at a glance


  • A new Thriving Center of Psychology survey found a shift in marriage expectations among Gen Z and millennials.

  • Two in five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition, but most want to get married someday.

  • While the numbers show over half of unmarried couples live with their partners, many participants still feel judged for their choices.

Marriage expectations are changing among Generation Z and millennials, with two in five people surveyed stating they believe marriage is an outdated tradition, according to a new survey from the Thriving Center of Psychology. 

While the traditional ideas surrounding marriage may be shifting, 83 percent of participants said they would like to get married at some point. Though, 85 percent also reported that they don’t feel marriage is needed to “have a fulfilling and committed relationship.”  

Over one in six said they do not plan on getting married, with 17 percent of millennials and 7 percent of Gen Z feeling this way, according to the poll.

The report found the cost and current economy appears to be a barrier for young adults, with 73 percent stating they felt it’s too expensive to get married.  

Certain cities see less married couples living together than others. Toledo, Ohio; Seattle, and Spokane, Wash., have the most unmarried couples living together while the Midwest cities of Minneapolis, Cleveland, Milwaukee and Madison, Wisc., are all in the top 10 places with the least number of unmarried couples living together.  

The report found over three in five unmarried couples live with their partners, though more millennials live with their partner than Gen Z — with a difference of 65 percent to 35 percent.

As for what motivates couples to move in together, over half — 54 percent — said it was related to finances, while 85 percent said they moved in because they wanted to. Sixty percent of participants moved in together after dating a year or less.  

Nearly one in five share a back account with the partner they live with and around one in six share a credit card, although living costs aren’t always split equal with half of participants stating they don’t split their mortgage or rent equally, the survey said.

Thirty-seven percent said they find their relationship is financially unequal.  


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While the numbers show over half of unmarried couples live with their partners, many participants still feel judged for their choices. Sixty-eight percent of people said they think it’s intuitive to ask about marriage plans while 77 percent said it’s intrusive to ask about plans to have kids.  

Nearly a quarter of women felt judged for moving in with their significant other, with a disproportionate number of women — 69 percent — compared to the 27 percent of men. Over half, 58 percent, felt judged most by their mother.  

The Thriving Center of Psychology surveyed 906 Gen Z and millennials who are in relationships but not married. Fifty-six percent were millennials and 44 percent were Gen Z.

The respondents were ages 18-42 with an average age of 29. Women accounted for 55 percent of respondents, 40 percent were men and 5 percent were non-binary. Seventy-nine percent identified as straight, 17 percent as bisexual, 2 percent as gay and 2 percent as lesbian.  

To find the cities with the least married couples living together, the report used the 100 most populous cities with data from the U.S. Census Bureau on the number of unmarried-partner households from 2021. 


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