Meghan McCain: Living without father like ‘some awful parallel universe’

Meghan McCain posted a photo of her now deceased father, former Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) Monday, saying that living without him feels like being in “some awful parallel universe.”

“84 days without you,” she began, in a post accompanying the photo on Instagram late Sunday. “We would eat on the porch and talk about life and politics while you read the newspaper and watched out for the hawks to fly by.”

“I want to tell you about everything and get your opinion on everything – just like we used to do,” she wrote. “I don’t know how you go from talking to someone seven times a day to never.”

{mosads}”It is still so indescribably surreal to go through the motions of life without sharing all of it with you – like some awful parallel universe I fell into.”

McCain wrote that the pain of having her father gone “continues to be sharp and primal.”

“I fight on because that is what you told me I had to do and demanded of me,” she wrote. “I love you forever.”

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84 days without you. You used to get up early in the morning and go get us all Starbucks in town in the Cottonwood Safeway and then come home and make eggs and bacon. You always had a giant venti cappuccino. We would eat on the porch and talk about life and politics while you read the newspaper and watched out for the hawks to fly by. I want to tell you about everything and get your opinion on everything – just like we used to do. I don’t know how you go from talking to someone seven times a day to never. It is still so indescribably surreal to go through the motions of life without sharing all of it with you – like some awful parallel universe I fell into. The pain of missing you and the grief that comes with it continues to be sharp and primal. Some waves are more intense than others but they come every day relentlessly. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me. I fight on because that is what you told me I had to do and demanded of me. I know you made me so tough and strong with the intensity that only you could have purposefully – and for that I am the most grateful. You raised me “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” you always said. Thank you for always, always being on my team and for being my best friend. I love you forever. To anyone else in my place or those who are not – I wish we wouldn’t put time limits or rules on grief, we all do it differently in different ways. I shared my father on social media while he was here (and he loved it) and I choose to continue sharing him now that he is not. There’s always the unfollow button if recognizing the impact of death and loss makes anyone uncomfortable. ♥️

A post shared by Meghan McCain (@meghanmccain) on Nov 18, 2018 at 2:53pm PST

McCain died in August at 81 years old. 

Meghan McCain gave the eulogy at the former senator’s funeral and has publicly commemorated him and his accomplishments since then.