From personal memory to national history — how the stories we tell shape our world 

We all have memories, be it as individuals or as nations. To remember is to be human.  

But memory has the power to both unite and divide. 

Today’s struggle in the Middle East is a modern-day exercise in the minefield of memory — a struggle over stories that risk escalating into further bloodshed. Events will be recorded and remembered forever because memories have power in this powder keg of a region. 

So, what is memory? 

“Memory is the faculty that enables us to form awareness of selfhood (identity) both on the personal and the collective level,” wrote Jon Assmann, a theorist and Egyptologist in 2008. 

In other words, our individual memories can become shared memories — part of a giant national tapestry. 

Kathrin Bachleitner, an author and lecturer at the University of Oxford, writes that “a country’s memory is defined as its state-sanctioned, official narrative; that is, the story its political elites publicly tell about its history. However, this narrative concerns historical events not as they happened, but as they are interpreted in the present.” 

And in a new paper by scholars Hendrik W. Ohnesorge and John M. Owen in the “Journal of Chinese Affairs,” the authors write that “the telling of stories is as important an instrument of national power as are military strength or economic prowess.”  

We know that the Chinese ruling party builds upon a narrative from earlier centuries when China was humiliated by foreigners through “unequal treaties,” annexations of territory and victimization. 

This Middle East war, unlike older conflicts, is happening in a digital age of scrolling images and thoughts. How will that impact what we recall of this war? 

According to a recent study of social media, the data on retention is mixed. 

“People are more likely to remember experiences that they post on social media, research suggests,” writes Marlynn Wei at Psychology Today. “Posting on ephemeral social media channels like Snapchat improves recall later, even though the post has disappeared. These effects may occur because posting involves rehearsing and processing the event, or simply because people may post more memorable events.” 

At the same time, we know that people forget information they learn online — the so-called “Google Effect,” which creates a form of digital amnesia. 

For many, this war will never fade from memory. So, what can we do to help? 

First, acknowledge pain and memory rather than cast blame. The blame game in the Middle East is old and counterproductive. That is for another day. 

Secondly, listen carefully. Memories are often the loud voices of violence shaped by daily events and by nightmares filled with trauma and fear from the constant drumbeat of conflict — the ups and down of news, wars and ceasefires, refugee camps, intifadas, summits, protests, proclamations, brutality and fear. 

War breeds trauma and shock for those who witness and participate in it. We are still learning the depth and extent of post-traumatic stress disorder around the world. 

Lastly, speak softly. 

As we go forth in a cloudy, foggy, agonizing period, we still have the power to persuade one another that peace is possible — that a state of non-violence need not be permanently abandoned among the ruin and rubble of this hour. 

The story of peacebuilding is not over. Much to the contrary, our lives remain inextricably linked across borders and barriers, leaving human beings to address the past, the present and the future. 

For as long as we are alive, we can think, act, recall and rebuild — all of which is not to forget. 

Tara D. Sonenshine served as the executive vice president of the United States Institute of Peace. She is the Edward R. Murrow Professor of Practice at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University.