Washington: Zoned-out

I don’t know how to break this to anyone, but this is not just inside-the
Beltway stuff, this is inside-Cab Zone-1. It’s way beyond the rest of the
nation’s slightest interest.

Let’s face it, most believe their capital is on some other planet, populated by
sub-humans who are trying to destroy everyone else and speak gibberish. Is
there anything about the war over a “self-executing” tactic or “deem-and-pass”
legislation that would cause them to change their minds? Or even give a deem?

Never mind that both parties have used this little trick a gazillion times. It’s
coming in handy again as an insidious way for politicians of all preferences to
justify their existence, along with the pundits’ and pundit-wannabes’. We get
to feign outrage over something without anyone having the slightest idea what
we’re talking about. For us in this business, it’s a dream. For everyone else
it’s a turnoff.

Sad to say, it obscures the merits of the healthcare measures, or lacks
thereof. It distracts from the unresolved argument over reform that either goes
way too far or doesn’t go anywhere near far enough.

Why bother hashing that out still again, and infuriating the citizens, when you
can bore them to death with a “self-executing” designation, where
House passage of the rule means the underlying bill is deemed passed? Who needs
sleeping pills when that stuff will cure most anyone’s insomnia?

Put it this way: If you do get passionate over that description of legislative
legerdemain and the excitement lasts more than four hours, seek immediate help
from a medical professional. In fact, if it’s more than four seconds, waste no
time in heading to the nearest GR — green room. That’s where they hold meetings
for those addicted to this stuff.

They are mainly in Washington, definitely in what was Cab Zone 1, back before
they switched cabs to a meter system here and back when people in the real
world still clung to the hope that things could change. The zone system is gone
now. So is any vestige of that hope.

Visit Mr. Franken’s website at www.bobfranken.tv.