Haywireless

Here’s what I want to know about that legislation that would provide telecommunications companies retroactive immunity: Does that legal protection include not just illegal participation in government-intelligence gathering, but also their fraudulent promises, defective products and abusive service?

If so, no way in hell. It’s one thing if they violate my privacy and civil liberties, but these dropped calls have got to stop! If they’d only take some of the technicians who were working on the spying gizmos and sent them to my house so they’d actually show up “between noon and five” I’d be willing to consider it.

Actually, it doesn’t matter what I think. The companies have made that abundantly clear. And for that matter the Bush administration has also made it clear it couldn’t care less about any congressional opposition to the companies’ espionage immunity. The Democrats will fold, so why should they give a hoot?

I have to wonder, though, whether the telecom firms are any better at intelligence-gathering than consumer service. If not, we shouldn’t sweat any of this.

In fact it is only a matter of time till the government privatizes all this like it has almost everything else.  Who needs a National Security Agency or a Central Intelligence Agency or a Federal Bureau of Investigation, any of those guys, when all their duties can be taken over by a single company. How about Blackwater?

You scoff. But think of the advantages. First of all, Blackwater has better equipment. More importantly, no longer would we have to listen to all those whiny politicians. If someone gets in the way, shoot him.

The telecommunications corporations could apply the same techniques to customer problems.

I think I’m on to something here. We really need to do something about this constant complaining. Just think what a different nation we might be if we got rid of those silly citizen protections so they didn’t get in the way.

Come to think of it, that’s where we seem to be heading. Eventually, we could even change the country’s name. How about Myanmar?