Diplomatic Security

Well, it looks like they’ve dodged the bullet at the State Department. Apparently, they’ve convinced enough “volunteers” to dodge bullets in Iraq. So they’ve put an end to the embarrassing spectacle of a mutiny over the possibility some would be forced to go against their wishes. They will depart as soon as they heal from the surgery to straighten out their severely twisted arms.

So the mini-insurrection is over. For now. But let’s face it, the calm is only temporary. The uproar will start the next time more are needed. We need a permanent fix.

Have I got an idea for you. It’s so obvious.

Instead of sending the resisters kicking and screaming to a Baghdad posting, fill in the gaps with people from Blackwater.

That’s right, turn to the same private contractor that already has such a thriving relationship with State.

Think of it. The very company that has helped build such a warm relationship with Iraqis can bring its special skills to the world of diplomacy.

I know — there will be naysayers. There always are when creative new ideas come along. It will take strong leadership to make this work, but there is already someone at the State Department who would be the perfect person to put in charge.

I am thinking, of course, of Howard Krongard. Things haven’t been going well for him in his current job as State’s inspector general, so he’d surely welcome a change.

His proven style of management already shows that he can handle dissenters. And just because his overly sensitive subordinates in the IG’s office couldn’t deal with his abuse and his political stonewalling doesn’t mean for a minute he won’t thrive in the realm of Blackwater private diplomacy.  In fact, the “shoot first, ask to negotiate later” approach will fit right in with the Bush administration’s foreign policy.

Let us not forget that his brother is on the Blackwater board so he’ll already have a line of communication. And you’re not going to let the little matter of his lying to Congress about that get in the way of this brilliant solution to another sticky problem.

I don’t know why the Bush people didn’t think of it. After all, a guiding principle of this White House is “Got a problem, guys? Privatize.”

Just remember. You read it here first.