Michelle Obama on raising her daughters: They ‘had to be smart and confident and independent’ 

Former first lady Michelle Obama said she raised her daughters intentionally as they navigated life under the watchful eye of the public as their father, former President Obama, served in the White House. 

Obama joined Melinda French Gates on her podcast “Moments that Make Us,” where she opened up about her experience raising Malia and Sasha. She said she learned a lot from how her mother, Marian Robinson, raised her. Robinson died at 86 in May.

“She was very intentional and it started with intentionally seeing us not as babies that belonged to her, but as humans that she was raising up to be independent beings in the world,” Obama said. “And I think I share that philosophy, that I never felt my job was to create mini me’s or create people who were going to live out some brokenness in me.” 

Obama said she created boundaries with her daughters and never expected them to view her as their friend but as they grew older those boundaries helped them become friends. 

“Let your kids hurt and fail and recover on their own and own their victories and that’s for them, because that’s what they’re doing right now and I’m not with them,” she said. 

Malia, the Obama’s eldest daughter is 26, and Sasha is 23. 

Obama said she wanted to “raise them to be stand-up young people on their own, especially as the daughters of a former president.” 

“They had to learn how to balance the unwanted attention but do it politely, to build their own lives in the spotlight and not be eaten up by it,” she said. “Those girls had to be smart and confident and independent straightaway, even when they were living in a house with butlers and maids and florists, but I was raising them thinking ‘you’re not gonna live here and with me forever.'”