Happy Monday. Anyone else scouring the internet for any theories or breadcrumbs about Taylor Swift’s upcoming “The Tortured Poets Department” album that she announced during the Grammys? Besides the Taylor Swift rabbit holes I can’t stay out of, here’s what’s happening today:

• Senate negotiators unveiled the long-awaited text of the bipartisan border bill on Sunday. Hardline conservatives are *not happy* about this bill, to put it lightly.
• Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) deemed the border bill “dead on arrival” in his chamber, but Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is trying his hardest to cobble together the Senate votes.
• GOP presidential candidate Nikki Haley made a surprise appearance on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” this weekend.
• Actor Larry David attacked Elmo on set of NBC’s “Today.”

I’m Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what’s coming up. Send tips, commentary, feedback and cookie recipes to cmartel@thehill.com. Did someone forward this newsletter to you? Sign up here.  

Senate negotiators on Sunday unveiled the long-awaited text of the deal that would fund Ukraine’s war with Russia in exchange for U.S.-Mexico border security measures, inflaming conservatives who have bashed the bill.

What’s in the bill?:

• An end to “catch and release.”
• New power to close the border when crossings reach a threshold of 4,000. or more a day for seven days.
• Raising standards for asylum screening.
• Making the process easier for migrants to get work authorization.
• Eliminating the immigration court backlog.
• $20 billion in funding for the border measures. (The Hill)

Plus:

• Roughly $60 billion in funding for Ukraine’s war.
• Roughly $14 billion for Israel.
• Roughly $10 billion in humanitarian aid for civilians in Gaza. (NBC News)

? Read the 370-page bill

What now?: The bill will face its first procedural vote in the Senate this week. That will be a helpful gauge of its opposition and support. However, the bill is likely dead on arrival in the House.

FWIW: Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.) backs the bill and had hoped to get the support of at least half of the Senate’s 49 Republicans. But aides are now predicting it will only receive between 12 and 20 GOP “yes” votes, according to The Hill’s Alexander Bolton. Former President Trump wants to kill this bill, so that will contribute to McConnell’s headwinds. (The Hill)

? Live blog to follow as the border drama unfolds

“Immediately no. Immediately no. Immediately no. I’m telling you right now. I’ve seen what I needed to see …” (Here’s one of my favorite ‘immediately no’ TikToks if you don’t understand the reference.)

Hard-line conservatives and allies of former President Trump quickly voiced their opposition to the bipartisan deal.

Why?: They argued it “erases our borders” and slammed it as an “amnesty bill.”

A few other phrases conservatives had to say about it: “Awful,” “a complete sell-out” and “totally unacceptable.” ?

Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) said it is “even worse than we expected” and declared it “dead on arrival” in the House. House Majority Leader Steve Scalise (R-La.) said the bill won’t receive a vote in the House. Read Scalise’s full post

Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.) slammed it as “an open-borders bill” and Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) argued that “no self-respecting senator should agree to vote on this 370-page bill this week.”

Read more on the conservative opposition, from The Hill

Trump referred to the bill as a “death wish” for the GOP.

Trump posted on Truth Social: “Only a fool, or a Radical Left Democrat, would vote for this horrendous Border Bill, which only gives Shutdown Authority after 5000 Encounters a day, when we already have the right to CLOSE THE BORDER NOW, which must be done.” (The Hill)

Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.), the lead GOP architect of the bipartisan bill, shot back at conservatives’ brash criticism. “Don’t just go off of Facebook post somewhere on what the bill says,” Lankford told “Fox & Friends.” Lankford also slammed Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah), who wanted at least three weeks to review the bill, but is already opposing it. (The Hill)

Pop star Taylor Swift announced a new album during the Grammys (!) You already know how excited I am.

Fans were fully expecting Swift to announce the rerelease of her “Reputation” album, but she instead surprised everyone with the announcement of her upcoming album.

The deets: Swift’s new album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” will debut on April 19. Swift’s announcement post

Taylor Swift became the first artist to win album of the year four times: Frank Sinatra, Stevie Wonder and Paul Simon have each won the award three times. (CBS News)

? The full list of winners

? The best and worst moments, from The New York Times

‘Rapper Killer Mike detained by police at the Grammy Awards after collecting 3 trophies’: AP

? Trevor Noah’s opening monologue

‘What Joni Mitchell Proved at the Grammys’: “In performing an instant-classic awards-show set, she affirmed her timelessness—and her influence on a new generation of artists.” (The Atlantic)

Beyoncé!: While accepting an award, rapper Jay-Z criticized the Grammys for never giving his wife Beyoncé album of the year, despite having more Grammys than anyone in history.

Back-to-back atmospheric rivers pummeled California over the weekend with rare “hurricane-force wind warnings,” widespread flooding and mudslides.

If, like me, you’re wondering what an atmospheric river is: “Atmospheric rivers are relatively long, narrow regions in the atmosphere – like rivers in the sky – that transport most of the water vapor outside of the tropics,” according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA).

It has been described as an “extremely dangerous situation,” according to The Los Angeles Times.

This New York Times graphic of water vapors taken by a satellite is pretty cool to see.

? Photos of the flooding, from The Weather Channel

?  Celebrate: Today is National Nutella Day!

?  Nikki Haley is testing out a new career: GOP presidential candidate Nikki Haley made a surprise appearance on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” playing a “concerned South Carolina voter” in a mock town hall with former President Trump. FWIW, this was our second-most-read article on thehill.com this morning. ?  Watch the skit — her cameo starts around the 5-minute mark.

?  Omg, Larry David attacked who, now?: Actor Larry David attacked beloved “Sesame Street” character Elmo live on NBC’s “Today” last week. ? Watch the clip

^David then explained himself in an interview with Seth Myers: “I was waiting to be interviewed, and Elmo was going on about mental health and I had to listen to every word. And I was going, ‘Oh my God, oh my God, I don’t think I can take another second of this!’ And so I got off my chair and I approached him and I throttled him! I couldn’t take it! … And you know what? I would do it again!”  ( Variety)

^^Lol: This made me laugh, from The Hill’s Jesse Byrnes.

?   The internet made me do it: A few weeks ago, I explained a viral TikTok “candy salad” trend. Basically, social media users are combining their favorite candies into a decorative jar, often with a theme. If you missed this, The Hill’s Kevin Cirilli and I argued about it in Friday’s Daily Debrief video. ?

Well, as promised, here is my candy salad:

©  The Hill, Cate Martel

The House and Senate are in. President Biden is in Nevada. Vice President Harris is in Washington, D.C., with no public events scheduled.

 (all times Eastern)

• Today: Harris participates in a radio interview.
• 4:10 p.m.: Biden leaves Las Vegas and returns to Washington, D.C. He will arrive at the White House around 8:45 p.m.
• 5:30 p.m.: A Senate judicial confirmation vote. ?️ Today’s agenda
• 6:30 p.m.: First and last House votes. ?️ Today’s agenda

Because this is adorable and fascinating to watch, here’s a mother bear protecting her cubs.

^ Be aware there’s sharp language in this clip.