The fertility decline in the U.S. and around the world has prompted growing concern. Much of the focus has been on societal-level economic problems that could result from sub-replacement fertility.
However, it is the more personal, existential cost that may be the most damaging consequence of America’s baby bust.
If we want to inspire Americans to start and grow families, we need to do a better job creating and spreading cultural messages that emphasize the fundamentals of a meaningful life.
A counter-intuitive fact about the 21st century is that, as nations become wealthier, people have fewer children. Critically, the percentage of people who are not having any children at all is growing. This decline in fertility is a phenomenon of rich countries across the globe and is beginning to catch the attention of researchers and policymakers worried about its potential consequences. The economic dangers of lower fertility rates are top of mind, generating government reports about the coming strain on social safety net programs and state budgets, as well as academic models forecasting lower rates of economic growth.
Even astute observers, however, seem hesitant or unable to engage with the arguably more mundane but more individually relevant, personal cost of fewer children and fewer families.
Humans are an existential species. To flourish, we need to believe our lives are meaningful. Indeed, a large body of research demonstrates the importance of meaning. When people perceive their lives as meaningful, they are at a decreased risk of depression, suicide and substance abuse. Individuals with a strong sense of meaning in life are the most resilient when experiencing a major life stressor or trauma.
Meaning is also a strong predictor of good physical health, financial security and longevity. This is the result of meaning’s motivational power. When people feel meaningful, they feel more in control of their lives and are more driven to make the types of decisions and pursue the types of goals that lead to mental, physical, social, spiritual and financial flourishing.
Individuals can find meaning in many activities and aspirations, but a feeling of social significance is at the core of existential health. Even when people are pursuing goals that appear on the surface to be self-focused, such as building a successful career, the meaning they find in those aspirations is really about social significance. For instance, research finds that people are more likely to derive meaning from their work when they focus on how it serves others than when they focus on how it advances their personal careers.
Ultimately, it is when people have deep interdependent relationships, in which they play an important role in the lives of others, that they are most able to achieve a strong sense of meaning. Not surprisingly, then, global surveys indicate that family is the most frequently reported source of meaning in life. For most humans, a family represents the social structure that affords the greatest opportunity to achieve social significance.
Raising and providing for children, in particular, gives individuals the opportunity to play a central role in the lives of other humans. From the moment they come into the world, children rely on their parents in the most fundamental and unique ways.
Popular cultural messages that treat marriage and children as a barrier to reaching one’s full potential and living one’s “best life” are at odds with what social and behavioral scientists have learned about meaning in life.
The U.S. has a reputation as a materialistic culture driven by individualistic careerism. However, when asked what makes their lives meaningful, Americans are far more likely to mention family than aspects of their lives related to material well-being or occupation. Similarly, nearly 80 percent of Americans report that having a good family life is essential to achieving the American Dream, whereas only 14 percent indicate that becoming wealthy is essential.
In addition, studies find that parents report higher levels of meaning in their daily lives than adults who do not have children. And parents report the highest levels of meaning when they are engaged in activities that involve caring for their children.
A decline in fertility and family formation, therefore, should also be understood as a decline in the opportunities to participate in and experience the relationships that most people report as their most meaningful. Even as some experts argue that new technologies, such as artificial intelligence and robotics, are poised to offset the economic challenges that stem from declining fertility, these advances are unlikely to solve more personal existential challenges. More technological progress and increased productivity are positive trends that are indeed likely to improve the lives of most people, but they are no substitute for the kind of deep existential meaning provided by the genuine interpersonal relationships of families.
Our ongoing baby bust does indeed present societal-level economic challenges worthy of attention, but personal costs felt at the individual level should not be overlooked. Raising children isn’t the only way to find meaning in life, but it is necessary for the continuation of families into the future.
Family is the institution that offers the greatest opportunity for social significance. And it remains the primary source of meaning in life for people around the globe.
Clay Routledge is an existential psychologist and vice president of research and director of the Human Flourishing Lab at the Archbridge Institute, where Ben Wilterdink is the director of programs.