Memorial Day: 5 ways to honor those who gave their lives serving our country

To many Americans, Memorial Day is simply a day when summer unofficially begins, when it’s okay to wear white and when there’s a three-day weekend. However, Memorial Day is actually much more than that. Accordingly, here are five ways to honor those who gave their lives for our country this Memorial Day:

1. Understand what Memorial Day is and know what it is not

Memorial Day and Veterans Day are two separate holidays with distinct purposes. One way to show your appreciation is to understand and acknowledge the difference. Whereas Veterans Day is a holiday that honors all who’ve served, Memorial Day specifically honors those who’ve died while serving. This typically takes the form of placing flowers and wreaths at the gravesites of those who have died.

The act of decorating the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers dates back thousands of years. The ancient Greeks used to place flowers on the graves of warriors, believing that if the flowers blossomed, that the warrior’s soul was sending a message that it had found happiness in the afterlife. The concept was embraced in the U.S. after the Civil War – with more than 600,000 soldiers on both sides of the conflict dying in the war, burial and memorialization took on a heightened cultural significance, including the creation of national cemeteries specifically for soldiers.

Originally known as “Decoration Day,” Memorial Day officially became a federal holiday honoring all Americans who died while in military service in the U.S. pursuant to the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, passed in June 1968.

2. Tell Congress to re-think the uniform Monday Holiday Act

Memorial Day was originally celebrated on May 30th. According to folklore, General John Logan, the commander-in-chief of the veterans’ group Grand Army of the Republic, originally declared May 30th as a nationwide day of remembrance because “it was a rare day that didn’t fall on the anniversary of a Civil War battle, though some historians believe the date was selected to ensure that flowers across the country would be in full bloom.”

Importantly, the Uniform Monday Holiday Act was passed solely to create more three-day weekends for federal employees, something that was lobbied for heavily by the travel industry. Shortly after the law went into effect in 1971, Veterans Day was returned to its original observance date — Nov. 11.

A Senate Judiciary Committee report noted that all the major veterans service organizations supported the return of Veterans Day to Nov. 11 and that the only opposition came from the travel industry. Accordingly, the Committee concluded that, on balance, “the desires of veterans and many other Americans for a special date of commemoration is more important that . . . commercial interests.”

More recently, some have advocated for returning Memorial Day to May 30th for similar reasons. Beginning in 1989, Senator Inouye (D-Hawaii) repeatedly introduced legislation to do so, arguing that “in our effort to accommodate many Americans by making the last Monday in May Memorial Day, we have lost sight of the significance of this day to our nation.” In support of Inouye’s position, the VFW agreed that “changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed a lot to the general public’s nonchalant observance of Memorial Day.”

Although Inouye’s legislation never gained traction during his tenure, perhaps it’s time to re-think the idea.

3. Get outside your comfort zone

Despite the fact that nearly all of us experience the loss of a loved one at some point in our life, American society struggles with how to process grief. In fact, many of us are uncomfortable discussing death generally, particularly when death is the product of a large abstraction such as war.

As elaborated by writers Meghan O’Rourke and Hanya Yanagihara, “in America, we tend to think of dying as losing and being alive as winning . . . when we look at the language around death – ‘he lost his battle with cancer’ – it’s sports terms.”

Importantly, those who died while on active duty did not “lose,” but rather, gave the ultimate sacrifice for a cause greater than themselves. However, the increase in the military-civilian divide in recent years has resulted in a lack of empathy for such sacrifice. As Anthony M. Kurta, acting undersecretary of defense for personnel and readiness stated this past week, “this disconnect is characterized by misperceptions, a lack of knowledge and an inability to identify with those who serve.”

Thus, one way to honor those who’ve given their lives for our country is to push yourself outside of your comfort zone to better understand our military, grief, trauma and death.

4. Educate yourself on veterans issues

Although Memorial Day is focused specifically on those who died on active duty, unfortunately, many veterans die from causes that stem from their service after they are discharged from the military. This may include complications resulting from disability, suicide, or substance abuse.

Currently, VA, Congress and stakeholders are grappling with how to deal with the veterans suicide epidemic. Despite the seriousness of the issue, the public at large is not outraged and demanding action they way they are about more politically-charged issues such as abortion or impeachment of the president. They should be.

As Dr. Keita Franklin, national director of suicide prevention at VA recently testified, “We know this will take a national effort . . . VA can’t do this alone.”

Franklin is correct — VA can’t do this alone. So, get involved. Learn about VA’s efforts to prevent suicide and other policies that impact veterans and their families.

5. Put your money where your tweet is

Finally, realize that sharing an image on social media, in and of itself, does little to actually honor those who’ve died serving their country.

However, there are many organizations that work with the surviving family members of those year-round.

So, rather than just performing a meaningless action, choose to make a real impact by donating to organizations like TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors) and ensure that those who, unfortunately, understand Memorial Day all too well, receive support and compassion all year.

Rory E. Riley-Topping served as a litigation staff attorney for the National Veterans Legal Services Program (NVLSP), where she represented veterans and their survivors before the U.S. Court of Appeals for Veterans Claims. She also served as the staff director and counsel for the House Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, Subcommittee on Disability Assistance and Memorial Affairs for former Chairman Jeff Miller (R-Fla.). You can find her on Twitter: @RileyTopping.