I’m a sap for the season’s obligatory markings of passage. I choke up at Auld Lang Syne. When I watch those tributes on Turner Classic Movies reminding us of Hollywood legends who died during the year, I blink back tears, although I’m not sure exactly what a chief lighting technician does. Now with Ryan Zinke’s departure and John Kelly’s looming exit, it seems like a fitting time to pay homage to the many men and women who served and left President Trump in his first two years. They came and went like the scattering of winter leaves in a blizzard. Cue the mawkish piano music.
The Oval Office seems lonely, the Cabinet bare!
Oh West Wing, oh East Wing! Is anyone there?
They rode towards the sunset, or under a cloud,
They were Zinke, Flynn, and lead counsel Dowd.
Farewell sage grouse, let the oil drilling begin!
As endangered as Ayers who was out before in.
To Bannon and Bossert. Wasn’t it nice?
Goodbye to Porter, to Pruitt, and Price.
Short didn’t stay long. He disappeared in a blaze.
Scaramucci? He scrammed in less than 12 days.
Sayonara Anton, Dearborn, and Cobb!
You faded like Spicer’s inaugural mob.
Scram Kelly and Gorka. Leave Icahn and Cohn.
Take note of the survivors. Is that Roger Stone?
To General McMaster, here’s a snappy salute.
Thanks for your service before taking that boot.
Thanks Raffel, Ricardel, Watnick and Powell,
And so many others who threw in the towel.
Or had it thrown at them in a hashtag dump,
Out #Comey, Out #Rex, said Donald Trump.
Au revoir Omarosa, zei gezunt McGahn,
Farewell to Walsh, adieu to McFarland.
Shalom to Schadlow, Sorensen, and Schiller.
If you don’t mind, please take Stephen Miller?
We had hope in Hicks till she rushed for the door,
Plus Shaub and Shulkin from dear president 44.
Hail Nikki Haley, whose bright comet was fleeting.
Heal, Jeff Sessions, from Trump’s public beating.
Life goes on, faithful servants, new chapters reveal,
Each of your futures holds a six figure book deal.
Steve Israel represented New York in Congress for 16 years. He served as chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee from 2011 to 2015. He is a novelist whose latest book is “Big Guns.” You can follow him on Twitter @RepSteveIsrael and Facebook @RepSteveIsrael.